Interview With The Devil by Matt St. Amand

Announcer: "As part of our continuing Culture Series, KAOS-AM is pleased to present an interview conducted by world-renowned religious scholar, Dr. Charles Thearborn Brighton."

"Thank you. I am C.T. Drighton, joined in our Toronto studios with a most remarkable personage, known throughout the world as Devil, Satan, Gog, the White Serpent, He-Who-Has-No-Name, Mephistopheles, Dagon, Beelzebub, and Vic.

"I would like to move right into the debate about the nature of evil. Now, as Kirkegarde writes, evil is humankind’s failure to realize its teleological promise—"

"Fuck you."

"Ah, excuse—Maybe I should rephrase that. The question of ‘What is evil?’ has plagued man since time began. Now, as Heinric Gustafson writes, evil is a turning from—"

"Lick my runny asshole."

"Well now... I—uh ...Well, maybe we should begin simply with the idea of an Afterlife. There are countless theories regarding what becomes of a person’s inner energy, chi, or soul—"

"Suck me off."

"Please allow me to finish. Now, the Mendelson theory—"

"Your mother’s a whore."

"—there is a moment when the inner essence—"

"Your grandmother’s a whore!"

"—moves into a void, an actual place in space where—"

"A whore!"

"Now wait a moment, I haven’t finished... And in this void—"

"A WHORE!"

Station break.